To Be Controlled
by RainandSunshine09
Summary: Raphael is upset about being controlled by the Shredder. Late night conversations arise after a nightmare convinces him that he can't be trusted. Is there a way to convince him that he's not a monster? Please read and review.


Hey guys, here is my next story. I hope you like it, please read and review.

Raphael can't sleep. The last encounter with the Shredder turned him against his family and he begins to think that he's a danger. Fortunately for him, he has an awesome little brother who knows how to turn any frown upside down.

" _Raph, snap out of it. Shredder's the enemy!" Leo yelled._

" _No, you are the enemy", Raphael said before charging towards his older brother. Blinding rage took over as he began taking swipes towards the blue clad turtle's plastron. Leonardo was able to block the attacks, pushing Raphael back towards the warehouse's battered walls._

" _Raphael, please fight this. We're brothers!" Leo yelled as his right arm met Raphael's left, blocking the spiked gauntlets that he wore._

" _You were never my brother, Leo. I hate you!" Raphael's words had a taste of venom in them. Leonardo knew his heart had shattered at that very moment. Raph and him had their ups and downs like any other pair of brothers, but he loved the red banded turtle. Leo stood there, too shocked at Raphael's words, failed to see the gauntlet make contact with his plastron. Blood immediately started to pour from his stomach as Raphael retracted the three deadly claws._

" _I….trusted you…." Leo said. Pain filled deep blue eyes as they locked on to emerald green. Blood leaked down the gauntlet that delivered the fatal blow and onto Raphael's arm. Their fearless leader, brother, fell to the ground, gasping for air._

 _Suddenly, Raphael was aware of what was going on. The fog that was clouding his mind immediately lifted and he saw for the first time his brother, his hero on the floor of the abandoned warehouse bleeding out. "Leo, what have I done?" Raphael threw the gauntlets that were once bound to his arms across the room and scooped his brother up in his arms. "No, no, no, Leo! Come on Leo, hold on" he pleaded as tears leaked down his face._

 _Leo smiled a weak smile, knowing that his time was short. He reached up and gently touched Raphael's cheek, smearing his blood across his face as the younger brother leaned into his touch. "Brother…" was the thing Raphael heard escape his lips before Leonardo's hand fell from his face. Leonardo's chest went still and his eyes stared back at him. He knew at that moment, he had just killed his brother._

" _NO Leo, I'm sorry. Please come back to me!" Raphael pleaded._

(Gasp) Raphael sat up in his hammock, hyperventilating. "Leo" he whispered in between breaths. Raphael slowly brought his mind back to reality as his breathing started to become more controlled. His red mask clung to his face, soaked in sweat, reminding him of the night terror he had just went through. The red turtle quickly got up and headed out of his room towards his older brother's.

The creaking of the door was small as Raphael opened it to pear inside the room to see if Leo was alive. Leonardo was curled up in his blue blanket with his arm draped over his chest. Soft breathing could be heard through the room on top of a slight sigh of relief. Satisfied that Leonardo was ok, Raphael closed the door and left as quickly as he arrived.

Pushing open the door to the dojo, the angry turtle made his way over to his red punching bag and started working out his frustration. He kept hitting the bag, harder and harder, not noticing the skin on his knuckles breaking or the blood running down his hands. "Stupid! How could I have been so stupid?" He started punching harder, not only breaking his skin open further but undoing the seams that held his helpless bag together. Before he knew it, the force of his punches knocked the bag off of the stand and onto the floor. The stuffing leaked from the once threaded seams and covered the floor.

Brought out of his temporary trance of rage, Raphael noticed the blood that trailed down his knuckles and his arms. It was then that he had a flashback of his nightmare: blood seeping from his brother's plastron and dripping off of the gauntlets, trailing down his arms. "I'm a monster" Raphael bowed his head in shame and then punched the wall. A cracking noise filled the room alongside a cry of pain. Looking at his right hand, Raphael saw his knuckles were bloody and his fingers hung loosely from his palm, a sign that he'd broken a few bones.

A cool hand touched his shoulder and made Raphael turn around instantly. Hurt and sad blue eyes stared back at him. An orange bandana laid over the green face that the eyes belonged to. The expression that his youngest brother wore mimicked the one that Leo wore right before he died. Raphael backed up as far as he could from the intruder.

"Mikey, get away from me" he said, sounding a little unsure of himself.

"Raph, what happened? Are you okay?" He asked sounding concerned. The young turtle made his way towards Raphael before he was shoved back with his brother's left hand.

"I said get away from me" he yelled again.

Michelangelo clearly wasn't listening to his older brother as he continued towards him and gently reached out to grab his hurt hand. "Don't be silly, you're hurt Raph. Why did you do that to yourself? Talk to me, bro" he pleaded.

Raphael shoved Mikey a little harsher this time, causing the young turtle to lose his footing and fall backwards onto the floor. "I said get away from me. Leave me alone" he replied angrily before making his way towards the exit.

"I know why you're acting like this" the youngest voice trailed off. This made Raphael stop in his tracks and turn around curiously, wanting to know where the goof ball was getting at. "It's not safe to be around you, isn't it Raph?" He said as he continued to sit on the floor, eyes not breaking contact with his brother.

"What do you know?"

"I know it's not your fault. I know that tonight's situation was beyond your control" the ninja got up off the floor and stood there, afraid that if he moved he would ruin any progress of making his brother stay there. A low growl escaped Raphael's lips and he bowed his head, not wanting to face his demons or his brother. "You're afraid!" Mikey accused grabbing his hot headed brother's attention.

"I said leave it, Mikey. You don't know anything"

"You're angry all the time bro, but you manage to control it around us the best you can. Tonight, when you were fighting Leo, you couldn't control yourself. Shredder had complete control over you and your actions and that scared you. It would have scared me too. Look Raph," Mikey started to make his way over to his big brother. Grabbing his face in his hands, he made his brother look him in the eye. Once green met blue, he continued. "What Shredder did to you and the Mutanimals was out of our control. It was out of yours too. But know this: Leo, Donnie, and I, we trust you with our life. We know that you would never become so out of control that you would intentionally hurt us." By this time, Mikey could see the tears leak down past the red mask and splash green cheeks. "Shredder's mind control will never take away our brotherly bond and my love for you. Our love for you. We love you so much. Nothing will ever come between that. Not the Shredder, not the Kraang, and certainly no mind controlling parasite worm thing".

A sob escaped Raph's lips as he felt himself encased in a pair of small but strong arms. Michelangelo held onto his brother, resting his head on his shoulder as he felt Raphael quiver underneath him. "I know you won't hurt me, bro. I trust you with my life. It's okay. You're not a monster!" It was then that Raphael wrapped his arms tight around his brother's shell and silently sobbed.

Raphael's legs gave out as he made his way towards the cold floor, dragging Mikey down with him. The orange turtle never let his brother escape his grasp and held onto him a little tighter. When the sobs turned into hiccups, Michelangelo pulled away to look at his brother. Giving him a small but genuine smile, Mikey wiped some stray tears on his brother's face with his thumb.

"I knew what I was doing when I was fighting Leo" Raphael whispered out. Michelangelo listened closely, not wanting to miss what his brother said next. "I could see myself fighting him but I couldn't stop myself. I could have killed him"

"But you didn't"

"But I could have…" Raphael was stopped short.

"But you didn't. Raph, you've gotta stop this. Blaming yourself."

"I stabbed him, so much blood" Raph whispered so low but Mikey was able to catch it.

"You didn't stab him, bro." Mikey said, now looking concerned. Raphael let his gaze fall to the floor as Mikey grabbed his shoulders. "You had a nightmare, didn't you?" His brother never looked up at him or answered the question.

Michelangelo hugged his brother for a second time, holding onto him for dear life. "None of it happened like that. It's not real, Raph. We're all alive and safe. It's going to be okay." He reassured his brother before he pulled away again. "Let's get your hand cleaned up. It looks like you broke some fingers." Mikey's hands trailed down towards his brother's right one to get a better look at his injury. Raphael winced in pain as he let his little brother lead him towards the infirmary.

Michelangelo cleaned up his brother's hand in silence. Raphael didn't even make a sound as Mikey taped up his broken fingers and wrapped his hand in gauze and an ace bandage. When the job was finished, the two headed back towards the hot head's room.

The two walked in the room and Raph made his way towards his hammock. He climbed in and moved as far over as he could and motioned for Mikey to join him. Mikey took the invitation and settled next to him, cuddling into his chest. Raphael wrapped his arms around Mikey and rested his head on the younger's head.

He could feel his brother tracing patterns in his plastron with his finger as he whispered, "I trust you, big brother. I feel safe with you" he started to doze off. "you're not a monster" he finished before drifting off to sleep. A smile danced across his face, knowing that he could reassure his brother that it was going to be okay.

"Thanks little brother, I love you" Raph said as he kissed the top of his head and drifted off into a dreamless sleep. If their sensei and two other brothers happen to find them in the morning together, it was something that Raph could definitely live with.

If you haven't already caught the tag, this is a Mighty Mutanimals tag. The feels and the bond between these two brothers are definitely my favorite. Please read and review!


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